How I deal with 'negative emotions'
Everyone feels negative emotions as humans. But we often stigmatize such emotions and judge people when they express them. We tend to justify anger & sadness, but when it comes to jealousy or being envious, we suppress them because we feel ashamed & guilty for having those thoughts. We hide those feelings, not wanting to be the 'jealous guy' & refuse to acknowledge them. And we unknowingly end up projecting those feelings towards others, & harm them with our words & actions. So how do we get rid of these 'negative feelings'?
In my opinion, there is no such thing as negative emotions. But there are negative actions that can be a result of an emotion. Even chasing too much happiness can be a problem for someone's growth. For example, if you quit a challenge the moment you feel stressed, you won't be able to live a fulfilling life because you are missing out on opportunities to make your life better. And feelings like anger can be a cause of a good thing. Think about all the human rights we have right now. They are the result of all the anger & pain the previous generations went through, and they voiced their anger in seeking justice. So, what we have to do is try to control our actions and turn our feelings into positive outcomes.
There can be two reasons to feel envious. The first one is lacking opportunity. Sometimes some people have the privilege of going towards things that they want, while others don't. It's important to accept the fact that everyone has their own timeline. The whole 8 billion population in this world aren't leading the same life, and you can't always control the place, the family, or the way you are born.
The second reason is the lack of self-confidence. There have been so many moments where I've had opportunities, and I backed off them simply because my insecurities held me back. I end up comparing myself to others frequently & find myself having unrealistic expectations towards myself.
Most of the time this happens when I scroll too much on social media. We tend to forget the reality of life because of the media that we consume nowadays & it's important to keep in mind that everything you see on Instagram & TikTok isn't real. As much as it's hard to do as a Gen Z, I take long big breaks from these platforms for the sake of my mental health. It feels so much better when I stop comparing my life with all the aesthetically pleasing Instagram posts of others and actually enjoy it as it is.
I consider myself a person with a lot of self-awareness, so I try to understand the reason why I'm feeling envy in the first place. I then realize it's because I'm being too harsh towards myself, so I try to look at myself with more compassion. Or sometimes, it's because rather than getting the necessary work done, I'm always complaining & making excuses. In moments like those, I try to make myself as productive as possible to feel like I have achieved something. Setting small personal goals & learning small skills & habits always makes me feel good.
From all these things my last goal is to shift my perspective. Either I can turn my jealousy & envy into hatred, and mop around pathetically. Or I can turn that into motivation and see those things as inspiration rather than competition. However, it takes more than one night to build this mindset, and I try to practice it as much as I can. And most importantly, I try to love myself a bit better, understanding the fact I have my own uniqueness in the world.
So that's my take on dealing with negative emotions. Other than feeling extremely guilty about them, it's important to forgive yourself & work on yourself every day little by little. We're all human and we might not be able to control our emotions 100%, but we can always control our actions. Be self-aware, be true to yourself & you'll find happiness within yourself💞
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